Learning to Forgive Yourself
Sometimes, when a personal event has happened in my life that I haven’t been happy with – such as handling a situation in a certain way, as an example – it can sometimes get the better of me and stew in my mind. I beat myself up about it; even though, a few hours down the track, I realise I can’t change it, and I KNOW that I should just learn from it and leave it alone.
It comes back to forgiveness. Forgiveness of myself.
Forgiving others can sometimes be easier than forgiving ‘YOU’. When you forgive others you can find peace and move on.
But if you don’t reflect, acknowledge and forgive yourself, sometimes without even knowing it you are beating yourself up over and over again. This can be witnessed in certain actions or behaviours that could stem back to something you haven’t forgiven yourself for. Your subconscious has been eating on it.
When you love someone, you forgive. Love starts with yourself, so are you treating yourself with the same compassion and respect? Are you allowing yourself to learn from it and move on?
Here’s a nice little exercise that I have found helpful. Why not start today by acknowledging the feelings.
Sit in your own quiet, sacred place and say out loud “I love you dear memory”.
With no judgement, look at the feeling and see the positive side it has brought you. For every negative there is a positive – the way of life. Perhaps that memory has made you stronger in some way, as an example.
Then love and thank the memory. Finally, release it.
You deserve your own compassion and self respect; just as you give to others and / or your loved ones. What steps are you going to take today to forgive yourself?
Epic Journey Across Australia
Every now and then, you come across an inspiring individual who is taking action to make a difference in the world.
A couple of weeks ago, I was fortunate to meet such a person; standing in the supermarket checkout of all places!
It turned out that the guy standing in front of me, Andrew Cadigan (or Cad as he’s mostly known), is on an epic journey to walk – yes, you read that correctly, walk! – across Australia to raise funds for the Cancer Council. A journey of some 17,000 kms (around 10,500 miles).
I grabbed his ‘Oz On Foot’ business card and, intrigued about Cad’s adventure, I had a look at his website and was amazed at what he is doing.
Cad’s slogan is “One Man, One Pram, Two Feet and a Heart Beat!”
I interviewed Cad and asked him why he decided to go on his epic journey, what he gave up in his life to do it, and what keeps him going in tough times. Listen in to Cad’s inspiring story…
Please do share the video to spread the message! Let’s lend our support to Cad so he can raise a lot of funds for the Cancer Council and meet (actually, exceed!) his goal!
To share either:
- Click on the share buttons at the top and bottom of this article
– Copy the page URL and post or email it -
http://www.tara-west.com/2011/epic-journey-across-australia
– Copy the YouTube video link and post or email it -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6cQTcUx-Dk
Thank you 
To make a donation:
- Visit Cad’s website: http://www.OzOnFoot.com and donate directly to the fundraising arm of the Cancer Council
- Follow Cad’s journey (via his website) and when he’s in your town, pay him a visit!
- If you see Cad on the side of the road, consider pulling over, saying G’day, and handing over your spare change!
What If?
If you’ve ever made a major decision in your life that alters the path you’re currently travelling on, you’ve no doubt encountered that little voice inside your head that whispers ‘What If…’ or ‘What would happen if…”
9 times out of 10, the little ‘what if’ has some scary story to tell you or some other negative message. The voice doesn’t care that you’ve made up your mind. Until ACTION is taken on your decision, it’s going to sit there and annoy the hell out of you until it has you in a spin and questioning the original decision you made in the first place!
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, it DOES happen to all of us… even if you’re a positive-minded person.
So what can you do about it?
Firstly, I don’t believe you should be ignoring the little ‘what if’ scenarios that are whispered to you. They pop up for a reason and if they’re being whispered into your conscious mind
then they are most definitely working in the background in your subconscious mind.
Ignoring the ‘what if’ whispers, or indeed, allowing them to run amok in your mind without addressing them, is giving cause for your subconscious to continue to feed on the negative scenarios, without you even really knowing about it. Until you wake up one morning – before you have taken action on your decision – and emphatically declare that your original decision was a stupid idea and you’re just going to keep on moseying along just like you are, thank you very much! Or, you take action, but you haven’t entered into the action with gusto because there is some part of you that doesn’t believe.
Our minds are very powerful and your brain has no idea what is truth and what is fiction. Or what is grounded and what is outlandish. I’ve demonstrated this in my article ‘Your Brain
Believes What You Feed It’ which you can read here.
If you’ve made a clear decision to take action and you’re experiencing distracting ‘what if’ scenarios, here’s what you can do:
1) Keep a notebook or journal by your side at all times. Divide the page into two columns.
2) Observe your inner voice and the ‘what if’ scenarios that are coming to your mind.
3) Don’t ignore the ‘what if’ and give your subconscious mind an opportunity to feed on it and blow it all out of proportion. Instead, open your notebook and in the first column write
down your ‘what if’ (or ‘what would happen if…’).
Sometimes, when we write down our ‘what if’ scenario, it doesn’t look as big as we first imagined it in our mind.
4) After you have written down the ‘what if’ scenario, on the opposite side in the next column, imagine the opposite of what you have written down.
To give you an example…
If your ‘what if’ went something like: “What if they hate my speech? I’ll have ruined my chances and I won’t EVER get asked again!”
On the opposite side, you may write something like: “What will happen when they love my speech? Oh my goodness! I’m going to be inundated with new business requests!”
5) Once you’ve written down the opposite of your ‘what if’ scenario, spend a minute or so in jotting down the RESULTS of that thought. Don’t over think it – this should be a fun
exercise… jot down what quickly comes to your mind without wondering about the ‘how’ or whether it’s even a real possibility.
So with the example above, it may look something like this:
“What will happen when they love my speech? Oh my goodness! I’m going to be inundated with new business requests!”
- Increase my business by 12%, each month.
- Gain 10 new contacts each month.
- Secure 2 new referrals each month.
- Get recognised for my expertise; XYZ newspaper has written a profile about me in the Social Pages.
And so on… you get the picture
6) Once you’ve written down your RESULTS, cross out the negative ‘what if’ scenario in the first column. Just put a bold line through the whole thought. You can even take it one step
further and do what I do… I cross it out, then in capital letters I write things like: ‘What a silly idea!’ or ‘You are the weakest link – Goodbye!’ Sounds nuts, I know… but you’ll
be surprised how wonderful it feels – quite liberating really!
By following the steps above, you’ve successfully turned around a negative ‘what if’ scenario and fed your mind with something positive. Writing it down and imagining the key results
works wonders.
To entrench the new positive in your mind and totally eliminate the negative ‘what if’ scenario, consider practising visualisations with the results you recorded in your notebook. Put on
some relaxing or light meditative music and take the time to sit quietly for 30 minutes and transport yourself to that new, positive scene. Play it out in your mind and really feel it,
see it, hear it, smell it, touch it.
“The secret of making something work in your lives is first of all, the deep desire to make it work: then the faith and belief that it can work: then to hold that clear definite vision in your consciousness and see it working out step by step, without one thought of doubt or disbelief.” ~ Eileen Caddy
Remove Pesky Blocks & Unleash The Hero Within!
We all have them.
Those little saboteurs that sit on our shoulder and whisper into our ear. I’m sure you know what I mean.
It usually happens when you’ve got an idea to do something that is out of the norm – out of your comfort zone – then suddenly, wham! There it appears… like a ghost from the dark of night. Invisible, but there all the same.
Suddenly, your idea that seemed so fabulous two seconds ago has suddenly taken on a dark, odd shape and you are suddenly convinced that no matter what, you are doomed to failure – never mind that your idea two seconds ago was so full of promise.
That little pesky guy sitting on your shoulder is whispering into your ear; telling you all these stories… most of them starting with ‘what if’ that then expand into 300-page novels that would put JK Rowling to shame! In fact, they are such wonderful ‘words’ of art that you start to believe everything the little guy is saying to you.
The truth is, the pesky guy sitting on your shoulder is scared. They’re wondering what’s going to happen if suddenly you have a new life. They like sitting on your shoulder exactly the way it is, so they don’t want you to change and they want to hold you back. They will go kicking and screaming to the bitter end until, finally, you give the pesky guy the flick once and for all.
Harbouring a safe haven for the pesky guy on your shoulder isn’t something unique. You are not alone. If you search for it, you will find that many people throughout history have also faced a pesky guy on their shoulder.
So how do you remove the pesky guy to unleash your hero within?
There are many facets to that question… each person is unique with differing talents, ambitions, and backgrounds. One answer does not fit all.
I have provided some tools I use with my clients in my coaching practice that you may find of benefit in discovering self-limiting beliefs.
Take time to reflect upon them, and be prepared to do some homework and partner with someone you trust to discuss what you find – in an objective, unbiased manner.
Great things do not happen within oneself by reflection alone. Great things do not happen alone.
When making changes and stepping out on a new journey, it is vital you have a cheering squad, an accountability partner, and a truth maker to assist you.
And remember to enjoy the journey.
“No one remains quite what he was when he recognises himself.” ~ Thomas Mann
Wishing you a fabulous journey! And let me know what you think of the tools and how they have assisted you – I would love to know!
Best wishes,
The Butterfly
A man found a cocoon for a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared, he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through the little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly. Read more
How Google Brought My Business To Its Knees
If ever there’s a lesson to be learned in website optimization, this is it. Because Google, quite literally, brought my business to its knees.
I remember reading years ago (from Ryan Deiss or Perry Belcher) about the importance of correctly naming your images and image titles to optimise your search engine rankings. But, sadly, I didn’t really recollect this until a week or so ago.
Sadly? Yes. Because I inadvertently named and titled an image totally irrelevant to the message I was imparting in my post, which resulted in a flood of (unwanted) traffic that brought my entire web businesses to its knees because the server couldn’t cope.
At the end of April, I wrote a post about my fear of spiders (Wolf spiders, to be exact); but my message was about overcoming the fear itself and how anyone can do that if they have the right mindset. I had an incident with one of the big hairy beasts and, I thought, to convey to my readers just how scary they were I would include a big juicy picture of a Wolf Spider. I happily wrote my little post, plonked the picture in, aptly named ‘Wolf Spider’.
Let’s fast forward to almost 2 weeks ago (as I’m writing this, we’re almost at the end of August). I started noticing a spike in traffic to my blog, but as I was preoccupied in overhauling one of my main business sites I didn’t give it a second thought.
A few days go by and I receive an email from a prospective client, stating they signed up for my free eBook on one of my sites but it kept on coming up with an error message. Uh oh… I tried it, and yep, he was right. At the time, I was working on another site and it just so happened (almost simultaneously) that I couldn’t access it – totally caput!
I have a dedicated server that hosts about 15 of my sites – including my primary company website – so my heart skipped a beat and my fears were confirmed when I couldn’t access most of my sites!! My worst nightmare as my entire businesses are solely internet based.
Being after hours, I urgently dialled emergency support and the very helpful technician brought everything back on line very promptly… but he was unsure what had caused it. I was just thankful that everything was back on line!
It just so happens that the next day, I decided to do some analysis of my Google stats and was amazed at the spike of traffic I was receiving to my blog – not one of my primary sites! A 529% increase (and growing) each day! I started to receive warning messages from my server that my blog was going over limit in respect to traffic that I had allocated. Then within a day or two, the majority of my data-base driven websites were down again – for several hours – and continued to crash a few more times over the week. This was a nightmare for my business. No orders, complaints from clients because they couldn’t log in to download their purchased goods, emails because the project manager system was inaccessible… and it went on. This resulted in lost income and unhappy clients.
My blog’s traffic increased so exponentially that it was sucking a heck of a lot of extra Gigs a day! Now, my blog isn’t THAT intensive, so I knew something was going on. I thought, “Happy days; I’ve arrived! I’m a super mega star!!!” LOL (only joking!) 
But I knew something was up so I needed to delve back through my analytics.
So what did it?
Yes, you guessed it. That little teeny weeny Wolf Spider! And if you want to take a look at it, go here: http://www.tara-west.com/2010/a-big-spider-nearly-killed-me/
Here’s what I did wrong and how you can learn from my mistake:
- When naming your images include the keywords that relate to your post.
I named my beautiful spider image ‘wolf spider’, and it just so happens there’s a heck of a lot of folks in the world who are very interested in this hairy little fella. By naming my image ‘wolf spider’ (as well as the title of the picture), whenever anyone searched wolf spider in Google (worldwide), my little fella was right at the top in all his glory!
This is particularly important for WordPress-based websites that get higher ranking in the search engines compared to other websites.
Whilst I got a humungous load of extra traffic to my site, on the whole it wasn’t the right traffic I wanted to attract, as the folks who were searching for that type of thing were not necessarily looking to overcome fear (which is what my post was about). They were just interested in what it looked like and other information on the hairy spider.
To try and fix the problem, I had to rename the picture and title to something obscure (from memory 111), with the hope it would filter through Google as an error VERY SOON. As I am writing this post, it has now been taken off the first page; however, I am still experiencing a massive spike in (unwanted) traffic and I am trying to sort that out. How ironic that I wrote the post at the end of April, but it took almost 4 months to make it to above No. 1 spot (in images) on Google and only a few days to be bumped off first page! LOL Ah, the wonders and delights of search engines and optimisation.
- Check and double check your keyword accuracy.
The image name and image title alone didn’t just get me to that position on Google. It was also my post itself and the meta data I had included in All in One SEO Pack (oops!). Optimize, optimize, optimize. For the SEO plugin, grab it here: http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/all-in-one-seo-pack/
- Don’t name inconsequential graphics.
If you include a graphic that is of no consequence – such as a bullet, or similar – then name the graphic as something obscure. Ryan Deiss (or Perry Belcher?) recommends naming those types of graphics as 1.jpg, 2.gif and so on.
- Protect your site.
If you own a WordPress blog hosted under your own domain, as per this site, then install a plugin to protect your images and content.
This will ensure a) people don’t steal your bandwidth and other images that may either be original or images you have paid for; and b) steal your content – i.e. copy and paste and pass it as their own!
A plugin I highly recommend is Blog Protector: http://wordpress.org/extend/plugins/blog-protector/ If you want to check it out, just right click anywhere on this blog and you will see what I mean.
As always, when you install a plugin, double check all aspects of your site to check its compatibility. There’s nothing worse than installing a new plugin and a few days later, realising that parts of your blog aren’t working as they’re supposed to! To be safe, do a backup first.
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I’m happy to say that my sites have now been fully operational, with no hassles, for the last few days. I am still amazed that one tiny mistake caused such havoc with my businesses. Still, GREAT lessons to be learned and I hope you’ve gotten something out of it too… and, oh yes, at least I can now sleep easy Ah, the wonders and delights of operating in the online world
Happy blogging!
PS: Want to share your horror story about websites? Just add your comment below.
3 Steps to Defining Your Life Purpose
One way to truly know yourself and experience fulfilment is to get in touch with your Life Purpose. With the frenetic pace of life, business and career pressures, it can be easy to be distracted and start living a life that isn’t aligned with your purpose in life. Have you ever felt miserable and as if your life is going nowhere, or not in the direction you thought it would?
Your Life Purpose works hand-in-hand with your values and, the two combined, give you the unwavering belief in what you stand for and ensures you live your life by design, not someone else’s making – you are happier and fulfilled when doing what’s most important to you AND expressing it in every part of your life.
Richard Lieder, who wrote ‘The Power of Purpose’ said it best:
“Purpose is the conscious choice of what, where, and how to make a positive contribution to our world. It is the theme, quality or passion we choose to center our lives around.”
Here are 3 steps to defining your Life Purpose:
1) No-one can define your life purpose for you. Your life purpose is something within you which firstly begins in deciding that YOU matter – YOU are unique and different from everyone else and YOU are special. For 15 minutes each morning, take some time out to sit in a room free of distractions. Look upon this time as an opportunity to sit quietly and concentrate on just being in the moment. Observe your breath and let your mind empty itself of trying to sort out the day’s problems. Instead, focus on you and experience a comfort within yourself. This may not come naturally at first and you may find your mind filling with your ‘to do list’. When you do, stop, concentrate on an object in the room or the nice scenery outside and clear your mind.
2) To find out what matters to you and define your life purpose, it requires delving into your life from various angles to discover any matching themes. Block out an hour in your diary, then find a nice quiet spot to answer these questions. In doing so, listen to your inner intuition – the little voice inside you. What does it immediately say to you? Write it down and forget about making the words or sentences perfect. Just jot down what comes to your mind.
- What do you love doing in your spare time or when working?
- What activities are you currently doing that you enjoy?
- What do you naturally do well?
- What are your 10 greatest successes throughout your life so far? (Note: this isn’t what someone else thinks, this is what YOU think)
- What causes do you feel passionate about?
- What are the 10 most important lessons you have learned in life?
- What things do people normally ask your help for?
- If money was not an issue, what daydream would you be fulfilling right now?
- Imagine you are writing your own eulogy. What things do you want to be remembered for at the end of your life?
- Picture yourself at 80 or 90 years old. You are happy, content with life, and feeling very blessed at everything life has gifted to you. Your mind wanders to your family, your friends and other relationships and you give a happy sigh… your heart skips a beat remembering everything you have achieved in your life. Reflecting on everything your life has been made up of over the last 80/90 years, what matters to you most?
- How would your life be different today if you knew it was impossible to fail?
3) Once you have answered your questions it is time to look for the common themes that have emerged. What patterns do you see? What seems to matter the most to you? If you are unsure of what the patterns are or what they mean, then consider asking a family member, friend or coach to help you in defining the themes.
Once you have defined your life purpose, don’t let it sit in your head. Next step is to write your Mission Statement. By writing down your own personal mission statement that is your life purpose, you are giving yourself permission to live by your life purpose and providing a tangible reminder each day of who you are and how you are living your life by your own design.
A Mission Statement is made of three parts.
1) Your talents and values – this is the essence of who you are
2) What you wish to accomplish and what contributions you believe you bring to the world – yourself and others
3) Quantifying your life purpose – the measurable results you wish to achieve by living out your life purpose – i.e. how will you know when you are truly living your life purpose?
When writing your life purpose use positive words and eliminate such things as “I should”. There are no ‘shoulds’ in a life purpose… your purpose is made of ‘I will”. Express yourself in the present tense, even if you may not necessarily be living all aspects of your life purpose in the present tense, at this point in time.
For brainstorming purposes, this is a great site to view what other folks have come up with for their personal mission statement:
http://www.missionstatements.com/personal_mission_statements.html
Once you have written your Mission Statement that clearly expresses your Life Purpose, don’t hide it in a draw. Display it proudly on your wall where you can see it everyday. If you wanted to take it one step further – and why not? – then consider getting your Mission Statement designed and printed, then framed. The design could encapsulate in a visual way how you live your life purpose.
I just love what George Bernard Shaw has to say about a purpose:
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
Are you waiting for the world to make you happy, or are you going to design your own purpose and mission in life to make yourself happy?
Working with a coach can assist you in uncovering your true potential and accelerate your success. Get a free introductory session to learn more.
STOP Sabotaging Yourself!
Every day you allow your subconscious mind to take over every action and decision that you make. This impacts on the steps you take to move forward in your life, the dreams and goals you set for yourself, and the overall wellbeing of your present state.
By listening to the little saboteur – whose job, incidentally, is to stop you from moving forward – or listening to ingrained messages that are either negative or do not stimulate you to look for answers and solutions, you have allowed yourself to remain in a comfort zone… that muscle in your brain is getting no exercise.
Which is a real shame, as you CAN go farther than you’ve ever imagined. Because you DO have all the answers within you, you DO have all the solutions, and you CAN step out confidently with passion and purpose to gain anything you desire in life. Provided you give yourself permission to do so first, have belief that you can attain your goals, and train your mind to seek out the answers you need.
You are more intelligent than you give yourself credit for. Your mind loves to come up with solutions to your problems or needs, if you give it the permission to do so. By changing your thought patterns and the questions you ask of yourself, you give your mind an opportunity to play a game, to challenge itself, to kick into gear and provide you with insights and inspiration that can take you to the next level.
Here are 3 power questions to some common challenges or obstacles that will help you move forward in life:
1) “How Can I Afford It?” replaces “I can’t afford it”. By saying “I can’t afford it” you are insulting your own intelligence and training your mind to shut off any possibilities. “I can’t afford it” is a closed statement and you are, in effect, telling your brain to be quiet and shut up.
- Statement of Proof: Try this exercise. Hold in your mind a powerful image of something you would love to own or do that involves spending a lot of money you don’t currently have. Perhaps you would like to take an exotic holiday, drive a Porsche, start a business, buy a house. Whatever it is that is close to your heart, close your eyes and then see it in your mind. Whilst looking at that picture in your mind, say to yourself out loud “I can’t afford it”. What happens? How did you feel? Take note of your feelings and how your brain actually felt. Close your eyes and again see the image clearly in your mind. Say out loud “How can I afford it?”. What happens this time? How did you feel? What happened to your mind? Did you feel it jump up and down with excitement that it was allowed to race into gear to find out how you COULD afford it?
2) “If I could do it over again, what would I do differently?” replaces the statement: “I’m always doing things the wrong way”. I challenge you to remove the words “always” and “never” when talking about yourself – in particular, when you’re beating yourself up! Do you really believe that you never learn anything? Of course not! So how can you always be doing things the wrong way? Next time you hear yourself saying something like “I’m always doing things the wrong way” or “I never do anything right” or similar, stop and ask yourself “If I could do it over again, what would I do differently?” Let your mind objectively look at what you did and come up with solutions that will better equip you for next time.
3) “What’s the worst that could happen?” replaces “I’m frightened / scared I won’t be able to do it”. Sometimes our little saboteur likes to chime in and stop you from moving forward.
- Statement of Proof: Try this exercise. Hold in your mind a big dream or goal you have always wanted to accomplish but have been too scared to start. It may be a new job, trying something new in your business, commencing study, or relocating to the other side of the country. Whatever it is that you would love to do but have always held back, close your eyes and see that dream or goal in your mind. Let’s face it, if you haven’t taken steps toward that dream or goal, your little saboteur has been saying something like “I’m frightened I can’t do it” or “I’m not good enough to do that” or “I will fail”. Say out loud “I’m frightened I can’t do it” or something similar that has meaning to you. What happens? How did you feel? It’s not a nice feeling is it. Close your eyes and again see the dream or goal clearly in your mind. Say out loud “What’s the worst that could happen?”. What happens this time? How did you feel? Did your mind exult at being let out to play? Did you imagine a few scenarios? Were those scenarios small, big or huge issues? Are they really as big or huge as you think they are? If so, what steps can you take to make them smaller?
Can you start to see the shift when you ask your mind some powerful questions? Observe your speech and thoughts over the next few days and start replacing de-motivating words and statements with power questions.
If you catch yourself saying the same or similar things, write down a power question and stick it in a prominent place where you can see it everyday as a reminder – this could be on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, or in your wallet. When you hear yourself saying something negative, read the power question and see how it unlocks your mind for real, tangible transformation.
“First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” ~ Napoleon Hill
What power questions do you like to use? What kicks your brain into gear? Please share in the comment box below as YOUR power question may help someone else
If you want better, greater and faster results then consider partnering with a Coach. Get a Free Introduction.
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7 Ways to Accept Yourself for Who You Are
Accepting yourself and your situation in life can be a difficult task. Do you tend to be more accepting of others’ mistakes than your own? If so, you’re being too hard on yourself!
Those people aren’t better than you! You were created with a unique set of talents that no one else has. Plus, everyone makes mistakes. We’re only human!
Becoming more accepting of yourself and loving yourself for the fine person that you really are can lead you to greater happiness and a more fulfilling life.
Here are some excellent techniques you can use to help you better accept yourself:
1. Focus on your positive qualities. Even though self-improvement is a good thing, it’s important that you identify and focus on your positive qualities, rather than concentrating on the qualities you feel negatively about.
- Maintaining this positive focus will not only help you better accept yourself, but it’ll also make it easier for you to attain your goals by utilizing your talents to boost yourself forward.
2. Consciously prevent negative thinking patterns. Negative thinking can really snowball fast if you don’t get ahead of it. It’s okay to be in a bad mood every once in awhile and have some negative thoughts; it happens to everyone. The trick is in learning how to push those negative thoughts aside and replace them with something positive.
- Replace your negative thoughts about yourself with affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that affirm your positive qualities and help bring out the best in you. You can find affirmations in bookstores and on websites, or you can write your own. You can also download some positive affirmations and self-reflections on my site:
- I Am The Body In Motion That Stays in Motion
- Giving To Others Makes Me Rich
- If you believe in yourself, you can do it. It’s really that simple.
3. Accept your imperfections. Another part of being human is having some imperfections. Instead of dwelling on the things you can’t change, accept them for what they are. Making the best of your life starts with accepting your imperfections.
4. Use positive self-talk. Positive self-talk can help you achieve great things and change the way you think about yourself. Make it a point to give sincere compliments to yourself.
- Compliment yourself for the good things about your looks, your positive qualities, and every time you do something right. Do this each and every day until it becomes a habit.
- Recommended reading: “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter:
5. Disregard what other people might think about your decisions. You’ll never make everyone else happy. If you try, you’ll soon discover that, not only will other people still be unhappy, but you’ll also be exhausted and unhappy yourself.
- Make your own decisions according to your priorities and be confident that you’ve done what is right for you.
6. Avoid worrying. Worrying will never help your situation. Rather than wasting your time by being engulfed in fear, take action to do what you can to make the situation better. If there’s nothing you can do to change it, focus on moving forward in other ways.
7. Try your best and accept that you’ve done what you could. Do your best every day and be proud of yourself for your efforts. Let go of any negative thoughts, such as being angry with yourself for not being able to accomplish an impossible feat.
- Even when you haven’t done your best, find a way to forgive yourself. Move on and commit to trying harder next time.
In changing the way you think about yourself, you’ll also change the way you see the world. Every day opens up new opportunities for you, and by utilizing positive thinking, you can make a real difference!
How To Stimulate Creative Expression
What if you could reach into the depths of your mind and extract ideas and thoughts… then, with the creative juices flowing, delight in the way your fingers race across the keyboard as the words tumble out?
Well, it is possible.
Banish the thought of writers block or any other type of block when you need to get your ideas out there and heard… or indeed, when you have an idea on the cusp of your mind that needs developing, or you wish to tune into your inner soul.
So what is the secret?
A synchronised brain and a super-learning state, which anyone can attain within a few seconds.
Normally, we go about our lives in a Beta brain wave state. This is when you are alert and cognitive. Then, dependable on what we are doing at the time, we move into other brain wave states, such as: Alpha, achieved when you are relaxed, in light meditation and starting to access your unconscious mind… the Alpha state is where super-learning begins because the brain is synchronised, can communicate better and has increased focus. Then you move on to Theta and Delta brain wave states.
Okay, Alpha… that sounds like a male thing, right? For all you fellas reading this, just because you’re Alpha doesn’t mean you’re in a super-learning state all the time Sorry to disappoint
How can you get into an Alpha super-learning state?
The secret to getting into an Alpha super-learning state is to listen to Baroque or instrumental music; which is usually at 60 beats a minute and arranged by the composer in a special key cycle. When you tap into this music you are harnessing all synergies in your brain that allows you to focus, increase your memory, have cohesive thought, and creative expression.
According to The Center for New Discoveries in Learning, learning potential can be increased a minimum of five times by using this 60 beats per minute music. A renowned Bulgarian psychologist, Dr. George Lozanov, designed a way to teach foreign languages in a fraction of the normal learning time. Using his system, students could learn up to one half of the vocabulary and phrases for the whole school term (which amounts to almost 1,000 words or phrases) in one day. Along with this, the average retention rate of his students was 92%. Dr. Lozanov’s system involved using certain classical music pieces from the baroque period which have around a 60 beats per minute pattern. He has proven that foreign languages can be learned with 85-100% efficiency in only thirty days by using these baroque pieces. His students had a recall accuracy rate of almost 100% even after not reviewing the material for four years. Ref: http://www.cerebromente.org.br
If you have children, you may also be interested to read about this study published in the European Journal of Scientific Research on the positive effect of classical music: http://www.eurojournals.com/ejsr_36_2_08.pdf
Even if you don’t like classical music, give this a go if you want to tap into the power of your mind. If you are feeling stuck for creative thought and expression, need to research your topic, and get the thoughts tumbling out onto the page, you have nothing to lose and a lot to gain
What music should you listen to for a super-learning state? Here are my suggestions:
My personal favourite is Vivaldi’s Four Seasons… with its melodic tunes, peaks and troughs it will focus your mind, allow you to concentrate, and spark your imagination. Before you know it, your fingers will ignite and be eagerly pecking at the keyboard!
Other well-known Baroque compositions include: Mozart’s Divertimento for Strings, Handel’s Water Music and Bach’s Brandenberg Concertos.
If you need to brainstorm an idea first, try Beethoven’s Piano Concerto #5, Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake, Chopin’s Etudes, or Mozart’s Piano Concerto’s #26 and #27. As a former classical pianist for many years, I can highly recommend Beethoven and Mozart’s Piano Concertos!
Go forth and create!
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