What if you could feel what another person is feeling. How would you treat them? What would they look like to you? What if their feelings, thoughts and pain were your own?

When we look upon another as a reflection of our own soul we can show greater love and compassion, no matter what their circumstance, thoughts, or pain.

After all, if you see that person as a reflection of you, wouldn’t you show yourself the same kindness, love and compassion?

Or if that thought isn’t possible in your line of sight at the moment, let me put it this way. Imagine the person you love the most; whether that is your significant other, child, parent, grandparent, pet, etc. You love them unconditionally and may even smile at their little nuances that would ordinarily annoy someone else. You smile and love that person or pet anyway, and forgive them, even when they may do something that hurts. So looking at it in that situation… if you see that person in front of you as a reflection of the person or pet you love the most in the world, wouldn’t you show the same kindness, love and compassion?

No situation is black and white. We are not walking in that person’s exact footprints, thus are not aware of all the reasons a person may act the way they do.

Let us not judge.

Please let us love others the way we love ourselves and our loved ones.

Image credit: http://abstract.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/1050796/

Related posts:

1. Learning to Forgive Yourself
2. Release the Feelings
3. 7 Ways to Accept Yourself for Who You Are

Get curious.

Curious about yourself, about your neighbour, about your peers, about the world.

Ask questions. The hard ones and the curious, inviting ones.

Imagine your curiosity being like a diver diving to a depth of 2000 feet. What will your curiosity discover? Explore the depths of your own beautiful mind and the curious nature within to unearth untold treasures that are unfurling right before you.

If you’re feeling mellow, then get curious with your inner self. If you’re feeling all bouncy and full of life, then get curious with others (your curiosity and zest for life may spawn their curiosity!). If you’re feeling annoyed with the world, then get curious about the world.

What does your curiosity reveal? What does it tell you about yourself, others and the world? And importantly, what are you going to do about it?

Let your curiosity wander… let it dance in front of you. Allow it to be an enticer into a whole new world.

Follow the dance. Give up all control and let the dance lead your curiosity to other places.

Never stop questioning, never stop exploring, and never let your curiosity go to sleep. It will lead you in new directions that forever have you marvelling at this wonderful existence that is YOU and LIFE.  In fact, your whole future depends on your curiosity; it is that powerful.

No doubt, you’ve heard the saying that curiosity killed the cat, right?  Well…. You’re not a cat. So get curious.

“I have no special talents.  I am only passionately curious.”  ~ Albert Einstein

Where has your curiosity led you? Let me know in the comments below

Related posts:

1. Remove Pesky Blocks & Unleash The Hero Within!
2. Release the Feelings
3. Circumstances don’t make, but REVEAL you!

A short video about how our attitude can make a huge difference in our life.

Note: this was originally a PowerPoint slide. I have converted into video format… so disregard the message at the beginning about clicking to continue!

Special thanks to Keith Ready of A Gift of Inspiration for sharing.

Related posts:

1. 7 Ways to Accept Yourself for Who You Are
2. 14 Simple Ways to Add Happiness to Your Day
3. Learning to Forgive Yourself

Mr Moo, my dog, gets very excited when I start rummaging around in the pantry or the fridge.  He sees me lifting things up, checking the use by date, and it either gets put back or goes in the pile – his pile. It’s written all over his face and I can well imagine what he is thinking: “Oh yeah, I’m in for a treat tomorrow!”

I’m a bit fussy when it comes to use by or best before dates. Even though the logical side of my brain tells me quite loudly that manufacturers put in a buffer and one simply wouldn’t get food poisoning after consuming it a few days past the date. I’m also a plain eater. It’s rare for me to have sauces etc plastered over my food.

So it was with some surprise last night that I cooked my dinner and had a strong yearning for tomato sauce. Out came the bottle and I happily started spraying the stuff all over my food.  I ended up having some dinner with my tomato sauce; not some tomato sauce with my dinner!  And it was delicious!

After finishing my meal, I sat there thinking how nice it was and I should have tomato sauce more often! The bottle is sitting right in front of me, so I pick it up, flick it over and suddenly the best before date jumped right off the bottle.  Oh no. 11th January 2009.  I’m thinking, “This must be some kind of mistake!”  All that tomato sauce has gone to my head and I’m on a high… I’m hallucinating!

But nope. My tomato sauce was almost 3 years past its best before date! Yikes! How did that get past my inspections?  My inspections I have been carrying out since… well, forever. I’ve missed this bottle for 3 years?!  How can that be?

Before I knew it, I felt sick. Never mind that 5 seconds ago I was thinking it was the best darn meal I’d had all week.  Never mind that when I was eating I was thinking it was the best darn tomato sauce I’d ever had. No. Forget all that. I’ve just eaten 3 year old tomato sauce for crying out loud!!!

I rush to the bin to destroy the evidence; throwing the bottle away will hopefully make me feel better. I hurriedly put the dishes in the dishwasher so I don’t have to look at the red stuff that is left on my plate. None of this works. My dinner feels heavy in my tummy and I can taste the awful sauce (yes, I know, it was beautiful not long ago).  So I scoff down some liquorice to get rid of the taste.  That worked.

I sit down and am sure my stomach is going to rebel any time soon! Then I couldn’t help but laugh. What a lot of nonsense! The tomato sauce didn’t taste any different – in fact, it was normal.  It tasted wonderful.  So the slight sick feeling in my tummy and the bad taste in my mouth was all mind over matter!  So I just imagined in my mind that the bottle really said 2012 not 2009. And voila! I felt fine.

So I started thinking about that bottle. Why had I missed it all this time?  And why did the date reveal itself to me that day?  

Maybe my spirit guides kept me from discovering the bottle and waited for a time when they knew I would benefit from my experience and the lesson it provided.  After some reflections, I realised that I am procrastinating with something in my life and, after thinking about the tomato sauce, I came to a decision that it was a ‘mind over matter’ thing and I just need to get on with it!!!

Maybe my spirit guides nudged me into having the tomato sauce so I could also share my experience and thoughts with others because someone, somewhere, would relate to the lesson and get value from it at a time when they needed it.

The tomato sauce gave me a valuable reminder that life can be a bit like my experience with that sauce – where I felt mildly ill when, in fact, I was fine. Sometimes we have feelings or thoughts that are, quite simply, mind over matter.  Our brain is so powerful and if we allow it, it can give us an illusion or perception of things that aren’t necessarily true.

This is when it can be valuable to put on the brakes and ask:

• “Is this a mind over matter moment?”
• “What is real and what is perceived?”
• “What would happen if I totally flipped my thought or feeling of _________ and took it in the opposite direction?”
• “How do I now feel?”

Even the simplest and seemingly unrelated events that happen in our life are presented to us for a reason and a lesson to learn.  

I’m grateful to my tomato sauce

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I discovered the other day that the little patch of plants I was so lovingly caring for were, in fact, weeds! I had planted some cabbage seeds and mistakenly thought they were my little cabbages until the weeds got bigger and I realised my mistake   Being a novice gardener, I am learning all the time!

My mistake then had me thinking about my own life and what ‘weeds’ I am cultivating.

Some of the weeds in our life can grow rampant and totally overtake all the sweet, good things; whilst others may pop up here and there and make a slower transition into a fully grown weed.

Sometimes, we may not realise we are cultivating our weeds as weeds can look like something else entirely – just like my cabbage patch. It’s not until they start to grow and choke the good things that we recognise the damage that the weed is doing.  And by then, it takes more effort to get the weeds under control. If they are a very bad pest, it can take a longer time to totally eradicate the weed.

Are your sweet, good things in life being choked by weeds?

You may realise you have a weed when you feel discontent, or unhappiness or unease in your life. Here’s how to discover your weeds and eradicate them (I recommend you download and print out the worksheet at the end of the list to help you further):

1. Pinpoint an area in your life where you feel that something isn’t right…  be specific. For example, if you are unhappy in your job or business, don’t write that down. Delve deeper to identify what specifically you are unhappy about.  If you leave it too vague you won’t be able to find the weed.
2. Once you have identified the source of your unhappiness, or discontent or unease, spend some time reflecting on when you began to feel that way so you can associate the timeline with a decision you may have made at that point in time.
3. Next step is to identify the decision you made that led you to the path you are now on – the path that seems to have a few weeds in the cracks. Sometimes, we make decisions with very good intentions, and that may serve us very well at that point in time. But as you know, we don’t stand still; therefore, a decision you made some time ago may no longer be serving you.
4. Spend some time reflecting on the decision you made and why it no longer serves you. What is different NOW?  Are you the same person you were when you made the decision?
5. Determine where the weeds are growing. From the timeline that you recognised in Step 2 to the point where you are now at in your life, what have you been doing to cultivate your weeds? Remember, weeds can sometimes be disguised as pretty flowers… we may initially think they are okay, so we pour a lot of water on them and fertilise and nurture them, then suddenly, BAM! They’re massive and we realise the pretty flower was a pest that is now encroaching on the values we hold dear in our life. (To determine your values, please click here.)
6. Next, determine what steps you can take to remove the weed (or weeds) from your life. Take the approach you feel is necessary for your particular circumstance.  For instance, a weed that is the source of your unhappiness, or discontent or unease may be one that you can immediately pour some weed killer on and quickly eradicate it from your beautiful garden (which is your life, your mind, your wellbeing). As an example, this may be an activity you are doing which you can quickly stop all together without any other ramifications to your life. On the other hand, another type of weed may be growing right next to something you value very deeply – if you were to pour weed killer it may very well kill off whatever is sitting next to it. So it requires you to spend more time in manually digging out each weed, taking care to preserve the other things next to the weed. The weed pulling exercise may take many forms – including (but not limited to) meditation, reflections, journaling, personal development, mentoring, and coaching; it’s important you find the forms that work best for you.
7. Lastly, celebrate your courage and commitment in completing Steps 1 to 6. Take time to thank your higher self for supporting you on your weeding journey and reflect on the gifts that the weeds actually gave you.

Download the Weeding Worksheet. I suggest you use the worksheet following the steps above and use a new worksheet for every weed that you want to eradicate.

Happy weeding

Related posts:

1. Remove Pesky Blocks & Unleash The Hero Within!
2. We’re all dying… what are you doing about it?
3. Get Curious. About Yourself, Others and the World.

A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give. ~ Author Unknown

“Thanks to all the folks and animals who gift me with your smile. Your smile makes me smile” ♥  ~ Tara West

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People talk about what they would do if they were dying – their bucket list, their wish list, their ultimate dreams, or what have you. Things to achieve, things to experience, things to feel with their soul and heart if the time comes.

But you know what?

We’re all dying.

It just matters when.

And sometimes we don’t know the ‘when’.

So I say, we shouldn’t be compiling our bucket list for some future event… rather we should be LIVING it now – and then re-compiling our list to keep on living it NOW, and NOW, and NOW.

When you let go of that internal control and just let yourself live out your innermost desires and hopes, you fully appreciate everything the Universe has to offer; the miracles that kiss your cheek; the joys that LIFE is breathing into your very soul.

And in some amazing way, it extends to you the gift of courage; the ability to reach out and pluck your dreams from the sky and with a deep resonance within yourself say with conviction, “THIS IS MY LIFE!.”

May your bucket list give you continued joy, courage, hope, and above all, motivation to live out the life you deserve.

Much love to you.

(Image credit: http://bit.ly/2enOpw)

Related posts:

1. Remove Pesky Blocks & Unleash The Hero Within!
2. Are You Being Choked By Weeds?
3. 14 Simple Ways to Add Happiness to Your Day

Everyone has a story to tell. It’s the way you tell it that counts.

Your story makes a difference to everything you do in your life. Whether that story is for clinching a new business deal, for securing a new job, or to negotiate something which is important in your life. Whatever the circumstance, your story has the power to impact your life, and others’ lives, in untold ways – but only if you tell it the right way.

It’s the way you tell your story and what you do with it that counts.

And when I talk about stories, I’m not talking about from the time when you were born, to now, and how you got here (although sometimes, dependable on the situation, that too can count but it’s outside the scope of this article!).

I’m talking about the results-oriented ‘stuff’ you have collected along the way and which is marketable or attractive to whatever audience you are targeting to.

What do you want to achieve in your life, your business, or your career? Firstly, it’s really important to define this; otherwise, your stories will not be relevant or, at the other end of the scale, you just won’t be able to define any stories at all that relate to whatever you want to do or whomever you wish to target to (and even if you’re applying for a job you’re targeting to someone or some particular function).  To learn more about defining your purpose, click here.

So what do I mean by stories?

Stories are like a movie.  Your own personal storyboard where you have achieved results for whatever it was that you were doing. Most folks have achieved quantifiable results or, if they can’t be quantifiable, they are classified as great nonetheless. Never discredit what you have done or are doing.

Stories are the proof that people need to determine whether they are getting a return on their investment from hiring you (whether you are an employee or a business owner). We all think this way – like it or not.

For a client, this is proof that your skills promise to do whatever it is that you do (i.e. your xyz service on average increases staff productivity by x%); and for an employee who is looking for a job, an employer can expect that your $___ salary is going to equate to an additional x% in revenues (or whatever the job function is).

The first step is to have a brainstorming session to unearth your stories.  The second step is to re-work your story and ‘tell’ the story in an attractive, authentic, honest, and ethical way.

The first step is the most important step of all – even if you feel you don’t have the ‘storytelling’ skills to get it on paper.  Do it anyway. I challenge you to be the Captain of your ship and take charge as, at this stage, it is the thinking process to discover your own unique stories that will steer your ship to success, not the initial words you write on the page.  If you don’t have the wordsmith skills, you can always hire someone to do that for you (i.e. the second step). It is the first step which makes all the difference.  If you would like support to unearth your stories, then consider enlisting the support of a friend or engaging the services of a professional coach.

When you have defined your stories and written them in a compelling way, your marketing material is geared toward your audience and results in more favourable outcomes and a win/win scenario for all concerned.  For a business owner, your marketing materials may be a proposal or a flier or other advertising collateral; for a job seeker, your marketing materials are your résumé / CV, cover letter, portfolio and other strategies.

Let me give you a couple of examples:

For a business owner, you may be a consultant who provides online IT database solutions to small business owners in the xyz market. From feedback received from your clients, with the database solutions that you provide, on average you boost their staff productivity in xyz area by x%. One of your stories can be a case study where you provide some background information on a client.  Describe what their pain was.  What were their challenges?  As a result of the issues they were having, what repercussions was it having on their business? What solution did you come up with? And as a result of implementing that solution, what quantifiable results did your client achieve?  If you don’t know any of this, then make a commitment to start surveying your clients to find out the answers to these questions. This then makes a ‘story’ that you can tell to prospective clients to quantify the results they will achieve out of commissioning your services.  This can be so much more powerful than simply stating in your advertising material that you help small business owners in the xyz market in gaining better productivity by deploying xyz database solutions.  Anyone can say this.  It is your story with the results behind it that make the difference.  Always align yourself as a solution to their problem in your story. What opportunities are you missing out on because you are not aligning yourself as a solution to the client’s problems?

For an employee, you may be a Safety Officer with a background in assessing site conditions and designing new programs and strategies (and thus, lower accidents / incidents and mitigate risk to your employer). In your job seeking marketing material (i.e. your résumé / cover letter / etc), you would align the results you have achieved in previous employment with the pain (or expected pain) that your future employer will experience. For instance, within the industry your research may have revealed a high incidence of sprains and strains which accounted for 60%+ of injuries. You would therefore include your stories that related to this aspect; asking yourself of your current and previous employment: what type of sprains / strains did I identify?  What were the repercussions to my employer if I didn’t identify it or do anything about it?  What did I do after identifying the risk?  What were the results after I implemented my new strategies (i.e. what reduction in injuries – % wise – did I achieve)?  As an example: your story may go something like this: Reduced incidence of sprains and strains from a high 80% down to a low 32% by: – Analysing occurrences of incidents to determine cause. – Investigating the site to review job processes. – Undertaking a job redesign that involved modification of a task through mechanical assistance (this task alone equated to 80% of the incidents with half of those being back strains). – Delivering training to 132 staff in manual handling. – Implementing refresher courses for all staff.  This is so much more powerful than simply stating that you have been successful in reducing sprains and strains on site (with no quantifiable results or the process on how you went about it). Always align yourself as a solution to their problem in your story. What opportunities are you missing out on because you are not aligning yourself as a solution to the company’s problems?

Again, if you need help don’t be afraid to ask for it.  Enlist the support of a friend or a professional coach.  Then when you have defined your stories and if you feel your wordsmith abilities don’t do you justice, engage the services of a writer – seek the help of a professional to make your stories shine. Your stories are important, deserve to see the light of the day, and market your true potential!  They will take you on a journey that realises what you dream and hope for.

The way we tell a story is the most important of all. ~ Nullah, from the screenplay ‘Australia’.

What story did you tell in a compelling way that set you on the path of your dreams? How did you share it with others that gained results? Please share so others can learn and gain inspiration!

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1. Your Entrepreneurial Mindset

As children we laughed with abundance and there was no such thing as a bad idea.  Instead, we giggled with glee at a funny idea and used it as inspiration to generate a new idea. Nothing was impossible and it was this sense of freedom that allowed us to explore and grow.

Then as we grew into adults, these ideas, the freedom, and the thought that anything was possible just went away.  Indeed, some ideas just died, or became boring, or the frenetic pace of our life demanded that we forget about it and just do what we always do.

As a child you were encouraged to think creatively, to let it come out and play, and just as quickly this creativity was more than likely squashed as you progressed through your life. (After all, how many times have you heard someone say “Oh, that’s a silly idea!” or “Don’t be so silly!”)  Another factor of your creativity being squashed could have stemmed from fear – fear of criticism, fear of failure, even fear of success.  Or it could be habit in not taking the time to think and reflect. Or, sadly, our own judgements that are getting in our way.

All of these factors can lead to a stagnancy that can hold you back in exploring new ideas to resolve problems. It’s time to give yourself permission to be creative! This in turn can spawn new dreams, new goals, new innovations, and the energy and excitement to turn it into a reality.

So how do you resolve problems quickly and get better results?

Your creativity and problem solving aptitude can be developed through fun exercises, such as visualisations, playing the “what if” game, journaling, some “kid play”, drawing your ideal world / career / business, brainteasers, curious excursions, and so on.

The key is to have fun!

Having fun helps you disarm the inner censor that all too quickly condemns your ideas as ludicrous. (Goleman & Kaufmann, 1992).

If you really want to accelerate new possibilities and insights, start asking yourself questions that have no solution. Sounds a bit weird, right? But this kicks your brain into a creative state so you can problem solve quicker, AND get better results!

So for instance, let’s say you’re in the start-up phase of your business. A question to spark your creativity and begin problem solving – in a hurry! – may be something like: “You have 6 months to get your business to a 6-figure income level. How do you do it?”

This question is curious and open, allowing you to think of hundreds of possibilities; thus, the question is not limiting your thought patterns. Wouldn’t you agree that with numerous possibilities you are bound to get better results? You have more choices and the ability to make better judgement on which solution is best for you.

Taking the example above and flipping the coin, a limiting question may have been “You have 6 months to get your business to a 6-figure income level. What 3 things can you do to get there?”

Try it yourself.  If you ask “How do you do it?” your mind goes into free fall and all these thoughts are jumping around in your head and you can’t wait to get them down on paper.  Whereas, if you ask yourself “What 3 things can you do to get there?” your mind goes stagnant trying to think of the best 3 things. You are too busy trying to think what is good or not; so in effect, you are judging your own thoughts.  This stifles creativity and stops you from moving forward. So just like a stagnant pool of water, you become inactive, sluggish and dull.

Here are some more questions that can spark your creativity – relate the question to your problem and / or slightly alter the words. I’ve also included some space for you to add more of your own questions as it relates to the problems you wish to resolve (just print this page).

1. You have 48 hours in which to lose 50kg. How do you do it?
2. Going to work is a real pain in the butt. Eliminate it.
3. You have 6 months to get every person on the planet to buy your product / service, and ensure they continue to buy from you again and again. What’s your plan?
4. You’ve been on safari in the desert and you fell off your camel. How do you get back home?
5. _____________________________________________________________
6. _____________________________________________________________
7. _____________________________________________________________
8. _____________________________________________________________
9. _____________________________________________________________
10. _____________________________________________________________
11. _____________________________________________________________
12. _____________________________________________________________
13. _____________________________________________________________
14. _____________________________________________________________

YOU are a beautiful, creative individual and your creativity is just waiting to come out to play!

Remember: More Creativity + Brainstorming = Quicker Resolution of Problems and Better Results.

Have fun!

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I call this my Bubbles Exercise that I recommend to coaching clients when a feeling or memory is hindering their progress.

It’s okay to feel the feelings and learn from them. But when a feeling or memory is holding us back from claiming our goals and dreams, this exercise can be helpful in letting go and moving forward.

First step is to get yourself a bubble blowing kit – the kind that kids play with You can pick these up quite cheaply and easily at your local supermarket or you can make your own.

Next, with a notebook or journal at hand, find a sacred place. This could be in your backyard, at your local park – wherever is comfortable for you and where you feel you won’t be disturbed.

When you get to your sacred place, set your intention. Setting your intention is really important to do. Ask yourself: “What feeling / memory do I want to release? What is this feeling / memory holding me back from?”

Hold those answers in your mind, and then start blowing bubbles. As your bubble forms, imagine that feeling / memory being locked inside that bubble. Your feeling / memory that is holding you back is now inside that bubble… floating away. Or perhaps the feeling / memory is locked inside the bubble and suddenly the bubble pops and your feeling / memory pops along with it.

As you see your feeling / memory float or pop away, allow yourself to let it go. Allow your body to do whatever it wants to do when the feeling / memory is popped or floats away. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to shout, shout. If you want to scream, scream. If you want to laugh, laugh. Just let the emotion out that is associated with letting go of the feeling / memory.

If you feel no release at all, close your eyes and once again set your intention. Then blow your bubbles and observe them until you feel the release.

When you have felt the release and feel that your feeling / memory has been set free, sit down and take the time to reflect and write in your notebook. Ask yourself:

“How do I feel now this feeling / memory has been released?”

“What gifts did this feeling / memory give me?”

“What did I learn from these gifts?”

“Now that the feeling / memory has been set free and is no longer holding me back, what do I want to achieve?”

“To make my goal a reality, what steps can I begin today?”

Related posts:

1. Learning to Forgive Yourself
2. Love Others The Way We Love Ourselves
3. 7 Ways to Accept Yourself for Who You Are