The Wise Old Man
A short video about how our attitude can make a huge difference in our life. Read more
Are You Being Choked By Weeds?
I discovered the other day that the little patch of plants I was so lovingly caring for were, in fact, weeds! I had planted some cabbage seeds and mistakenly thought they were my little cabbages until the weeds got bigger and I realised my mistake 
Being a novice gardener, I am learning all the time!
My mistake then had me thinking about my own life and what ‘weeds’ I am cultivating.
Some of the weeds in our life can grow rampant and totally overtake all the sweet, good things; whilst others may pop up here and there and make a slower transition into a fully grown weed.
Sometimes, we may not realise we are cultivating our weeds as weeds can look like something else entirely – just like my cabbage patch. It’s not until they start to grow and choke the good things that we recognise the damage that the weed is doing. And by then, it takes more effort to get the weeds under control. If they are a very bad pest, it can take a longer time to totally eradicate the weed.
Are your sweet, good things in life being choked by weeds?
You may realise you have a weed when you feel discontent, or unhappiness or unease in your life. Here’s how to discover your weeds and eradicate them (I recommend you download and print out the worksheet at the end of the list to help you further):
- Pinpoint an area in your life where you feel that something isn’t right… be specific. For example, if you are unhappy in your job or business, don’t write that down. Delve deeper to identify what specifically you are unhappy about. If you leave it too vague you won’t be able to find the weed.
- Once you have identified the source of your unhappiness, or discontent or unease, spend some time reflecting on when you began to feel that way so you can associate the timeline with a decision you may have made at that point in time.
- Next step is to identify the decision you made that led you to the path you are now on – the path that seems to have a few weeds in the cracks. Sometimes, we make decisions with very good intentions, and that may serve us very well at that point in time. But as you know, we don’t stand still; therefore, a decision you made some time ago may no longer be serving you.
- Spend some time reflecting on the decision you made and why it no longer serves you. What is different NOW? Are you the same person you were when you made the decision?
- Determine where the weeds are growing. From the timeline that you recognised in Step 2 to the point where you are now at in your life, what have you been doing to cultivate your weeds? Remember, weeds can sometimes be disguised as pretty flowers… we may initially think they are okay, so we pour a lot of water on them and fertilise and nurture them, then suddenly, BAM! They’re massive and we realise the pretty flower was a pest that is now encroaching on the values we hold dear in our life. (To determine your values, please click here.)
- Next, determine what steps you can take to remove the weed (or weeds) from your life. Take the approach you feel is necessary for your particular circumstance. For instance, a weed that is the source of your unhappiness, or discontent or unease may be one that you can immediately pour some weed killer on and quickly eradicate it from your beautiful garden (which is your life, your mind, your wellbeing). As an example, this may be an activity you are doing which you can quickly stop all together without any other ramifications to your life. On the other hand, another type of weed may be growing right next to something you value very deeply – if you were to pour weed killer it may very well kill off whatever is sitting next to it. So it requires you to spend more time in manually digging out each weed, taking care to preserve the other things next to the weed. The weed pulling exercise may take many forms – including (but not limited to) meditation, reflections, journaling, personal development, mentoring, and coaching; it’s important you find the forms that work best for you.
- Lastly, celebrate your courage and commitment in completing Steps 1 to 6. Take time to thank your higher self for supporting you on your weeding journey and reflect on the gifts that the weeds actually gave you.
Download the Weeding Worksheet. I suggest you use the worksheet following the steps above and use a new worksheet for every weed that you want to eradicate.
Happy weeding
Smile
A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give. ~ Author Unknown
“Thanks to all the folks and animals who gift me with your smile. Your smile makes me smile” ♥ ~ Tara West
We’re all dying… what are you doing about it?
People talk about what they would do if they were dying – their bucket list, their wish list, their ultimate dreams, or what have you. Things to achieve, things to experience, things to feel with their soul and heart if the time comes.
But you know what?
We’re all dying.
It just matters when.
And sometimes we don’t know the ‘when’.
So I say, we shouldn’t be compiling our bucket list for some future event… rather we should be LIVING it now – and then re-compiling our list to keep on living it NOW, and NOW, and NOW.
When you let go of that internal control and just let yourself live out your innermost desires and hopes, you fully appreciate everything the Universe has to offer; the miracles that kiss your cheek; the joys that LIFE is breathing into your very soul.
And in some amazing way, it extends to you the gift of courage; the ability to reach out and pluck your dreams from the sky and with a deep resonance within yourself say with conviction, “THIS IS MY LIFE!.”
May your bucket list give you continued joy, courage, hope, and above all, motivation to live out the life you deserve.
Much love to you.
(Image credit: http://bit.ly/2enOpw)
Release the Feelings
I call this my Bubbles Exercise that I recommend to coaching clients when a feeling or memory is hindering their progress.
It’s okay to feel the feelings and learn from them. But when a feeling or memory is holding us back from claiming our goals and dreams, this exercise can be helpful in letting go and moving forward.
First step is to get yourself a bubble blowing kit – the kind that kids play with You can pick these up quite cheaply and easily at your local supermarket or you can make your own.
Next, with a notebook or journal at hand, find a sacred place. This could be in your backyard, at your local park – wherever is comfortable for you and where you feel you won’t be disturbed.
When you get to your sacred place, set your intention. Setting your intention is really important to do. Ask yourself: “What feeling / memory do I want to release? What is this feeling / memory holding me back from?”
Hold those answers in your mind, and then start blowing bubbles. As your bubble forms, imagine that feeling / memory being locked inside that bubble. Your feeling / memory that is holding you back is now inside that bubble… floating away. Or perhaps the feeling / memory is locked inside the bubble and suddenly the bubble pops and your feeling / memory pops along with it.
As you see your feeling / memory float or pop away, allow yourself to let it go. Allow your body to do whatever it wants to do when the feeling / memory is popped or floats away. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to shout, shout. If you want to scream, scream. If you want to laugh, laugh. Just let the emotion out that is associated with letting go of the feeling / memory.
If you feel no release at all, close your eyes and once again set your intention. Then blow your bubbles and observe them until you feel the release.
When you have felt the release and feel that your feeling / memory has been set free, sit down and take the time to reflect and write in your notebook. Ask yourself:
“How do I feel now this feeling / memory has been released?”
“What gifts did this feeling / memory give me?”
“What did I learn from these gifts?”
“Now that the feeling / memory has been set free and is no longer holding me back, what do I want to achieve?”
“To make my goal a reality, what steps can I begin today?”
Learning to Forgive Yourself
Sometimes, when a personal event has happened in my life that I haven’t been happy with – such as handling a situation in a certain way, as an example – it can sometimes get the better of me and stew in my mind. I beat myself up about it; even though, a few hours down the track, I realise I can’t change it, and I KNOW that I should just learn from it and leave it alone.
It comes back to forgiveness. Forgiveness of myself.
Forgiving others can sometimes be easier than forgiving ‘YOU’. When you forgive others you can find peace and move on.
But if you don’t reflect, acknowledge and forgive yourself, sometimes without even knowing it you are beating yourself up over and over again. This can be witnessed in certain actions or behaviours that could stem back to something you haven’t forgiven yourself for. Your subconscious has been eating on it.
When you love someone, you forgive. Love starts with yourself, so are you treating yourself with the same compassion and respect? Are you allowing yourself to learn from it and move on?
Here’s a nice little exercise that I have found helpful. Why not start today by acknowledging the feelings.
Sit in your own quiet, sacred place and say out loud “I love you dear memory”.
With no judgement, look at the feeling and see the positive side it has brought you. For every negative there is a positive – the way of life. Perhaps that memory has made you stronger in some way, as an example.
Then love and thank the memory. Finally, release it.
You deserve your own compassion and self respect; just as you give to others and / or your loved ones. What steps are you going to take today to forgive yourself?
Remove Pesky Blocks & Unleash The Hero Within!
We all have them.
Those little saboteurs that sit on our shoulder and whisper into our ear. I’m sure you know what I mean.
It usually happens when you’ve got an idea to do something that is out of the norm – out of your comfort zone – then suddenly, wham! There it appears… like a ghost from the dark of night. Invisible, but there all the same.
Suddenly, your idea that seemed so fabulous two seconds ago has suddenly taken on a dark, odd shape and you are suddenly convinced that no matter what, you are doomed to failure – never mind that your idea two seconds ago was so full of promise.
That little pesky guy sitting on your shoulder is whispering into your ear; telling you all these stories… most of them starting with ‘what if’ that then expand into 300-page novels that would put JK Rowling to shame! In fact, they are such wonderful ‘words’ of art that you start to believe everything the little guy is saying to you.
The truth is, the pesky guy sitting on your shoulder is scared. They’re wondering what’s going to happen if suddenly you have a new life. They like sitting on your shoulder exactly the way it is, so they don’t want you to change and they want to hold you back. They will go kicking and screaming to the bitter end until, finally, you give the pesky guy the flick once and for all.
Harbouring a safe haven for the pesky guy on your shoulder isn’t something unique. You are not alone. If you search for it, you will find that many people throughout history have also faced a pesky guy on their shoulder.
So how do you remove the pesky guy to unleash your hero within?
There are many facets to that question… each person is unique with differing talents, ambitions, and backgrounds. One answer does not fit all.
I have provided some tools I use with my clients in my coaching practice that you may find of benefit in discovering self-limiting beliefs.
Take time to reflect upon them, and be prepared to do some homework and partner with someone you trust to discuss what you find – in an objective, unbiased manner.
Great things do not happen within oneself by reflection alone. Great things do not happen alone.
When making changes and stepping out on a new journey, it is vital you have a cheering squad, an accountability partner, and a truth maker to assist you.
And remember to enjoy the journey.
“No one remains quite what he was when he recognises himself.” ~ Thomas Mann
Wishing you a fabulous journey! And let me know what you think of the tools and how they have assisted you – I would love to know!
Best wishes,
3 Steps to Defining Your Life Purpose
One way to truly know yourself and experience fulfilment is to get in touch with your Life Purpose. With the frenetic pace of life, business and career pressures, it can be easy to be distracted and start living a life that isn’t aligned with your purpose in life. Have you ever felt miserable and as if your life is going nowhere, or not in the direction you thought it would?
Your Life Purpose works hand-in-hand with your values and, the two combined, give you the unwavering belief in what you stand for and ensures you live your life by design, not someone else’s making – you are happier and fulfilled when doing what’s most important to you AND expressing it in every part of your life.
Richard Lieder, who wrote ‘The Power of Purpose’ said it best:
“Purpose is the conscious choice of what, where, and how to make a positive contribution to our world. It is the theme, quality or passion we choose to center our lives around.”
Here are 3 steps to defining your Life Purpose:
1) No-one can define your life purpose for you. Your life purpose is something within you which firstly begins in deciding that YOU matter – YOU are unique and different from everyone else and YOU are special. For 15 minutes each morning, take some time out to sit in a room free of distractions. Look upon this time as an opportunity to sit quietly and concentrate on just being in the moment. Observe your breath and let your mind empty itself of trying to sort out the day’s problems. Instead, focus on you and experience a comfort within yourself. This may not come naturally at first and you may find your mind filling with your ‘to do list’. When you do, stop, concentrate on an object in the room or the nice scenery outside and clear your mind.
2) To find out what matters to you and define your life purpose, it requires delving into your life from various angles to discover any matching themes. Block out an hour in your diary, then find a nice quiet spot to answer these questions. In doing so, listen to your inner intuition – the little voice inside you. What does it immediately say to you? Write it down and forget about making the words or sentences perfect. Just jot down what comes to your mind.
- What do you love doing in your spare time or when working?
- What activities are you currently doing that you enjoy?
- What do you naturally do well?
- What are your 10 greatest successes throughout your life so far? (Note: this isn’t what someone else thinks, this is what YOU think)
- What causes do you feel passionate about?
- What are the 10 most important lessons you have learned in life?
- What things do people normally ask your help for?
- If money was not an issue, what daydream would you be fulfilling right now?
- Imagine you are writing your own eulogy. What things do you want to be remembered for at the end of your life?
- Picture yourself at 80 or 90 years old. You are happy, content with life, and feeling very blessed at everything life has gifted to you. Your mind wanders to your family, your friends and other relationships and you give a happy sigh… your heart skips a beat remembering everything you have achieved in your life. Reflecting on everything your life has been made up of over the last 80/90 years, what matters to you most?
- How would your life be different today if you knew it was impossible to fail?
3) Once you have answered your questions it is time to look for the common themes that have emerged. What patterns do you see? What seems to matter the most to you? If you are unsure of what the patterns are or what they mean, then consider asking a family member, friend or coach to help you in defining the themes.
Once you have defined your life purpose, don’t let it sit in your head. Next step is to write your Mission Statement. By writing down your own personal mission statement that is your life purpose, you are giving yourself permission to live by your life purpose and providing a tangible reminder each day of who you are and how you are living your life by your own design.
A Mission Statement is made of three parts.
1) Your talents and values – this is the essence of who you are
2) What you wish to accomplish and what contributions you believe you bring to the world – yourself and others
3) Quantifying your life purpose – the measurable results you wish to achieve by living out your life purpose – i.e. how will you know when you are truly living your life purpose?
When writing your life purpose use positive words and eliminate such things as “I should”. There are no ‘shoulds’ in a life purpose… your purpose is made of ‘I will”. Express yourself in the present tense, even if you may not necessarily be living all aspects of your life purpose in the present tense, at this point in time.
For brainstorming purposes, this is a great site to view what other folks have come up with for their personal mission statement:
http://www.missionstatements.com/personal_mission_statements.html
Once you have written your Mission Statement that clearly expresses your Life Purpose, don’t hide it in a draw. Display it proudly on your wall where you can see it everyday. If you wanted to take it one step further – and why not? – then consider getting your Mission Statement designed and printed, then framed. The design could encapsulate in a visual way how you live your life purpose.
I just love what George Bernard Shaw has to say about a purpose:
“This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognised by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.”
Are you waiting for the world to make you happy, or are you going to design your own purpose and mission in life to make yourself happy?
Working with a coach can assist you in uncovering your true potential and accelerate your success. Get a free introductory session to learn more.
7 Ways to Accept Yourself for Who You Are
Accepting yourself and your situation in life can be a difficult task. Do you tend to be more accepting of others’ mistakes than your own? If so, you’re being too hard on yourself!
Those people aren’t better than you! You were created with a unique set of talents that no one else has. Plus, everyone makes mistakes. We’re only human!
Becoming more accepting of yourself and loving yourself for the fine person that you really are can lead you to greater happiness and a more fulfilling life.
Here are some excellent techniques you can use to help you better accept yourself:
1. Focus on your positive qualities. Even though self-improvement is a good thing, it’s important that you identify and focus on your positive qualities, rather than concentrating on the qualities you feel negatively about.
- Maintaining this positive focus will not only help you better accept yourself, but it’ll also make it easier for you to attain your goals by utilizing your talents to boost yourself forward.
2. Consciously prevent negative thinking patterns. Negative thinking can really snowball fast if you don’t get ahead of it. It’s okay to be in a bad mood every once in awhile and have some negative thoughts; it happens to everyone. The trick is in learning how to push those negative thoughts aside and replace them with something positive.
- Replace your negative thoughts about yourself with affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that affirm your positive qualities and help bring out the best in you. You can find affirmations in bookstores and on websites, or you can write your own. You can also download some positive affirmations and self-reflections on my site:
- I Am The Body In Motion That Stays in Motion
- Giving To Others Makes Me Rich
- If you believe in yourself, you can do it. It’s really that simple.
3. Accept your imperfections. Another part of being human is having some imperfections. Instead of dwelling on the things you can’t change, accept them for what they are. Making the best of your life starts with accepting your imperfections.
4. Use positive self-talk. Positive self-talk can help you achieve great things and change the way you think about yourself. Make it a point to give sincere compliments to yourself.
- Compliment yourself for the good things about your looks, your positive qualities, and every time you do something right. Do this each and every day until it becomes a habit.
- Recommended reading: “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter:
5. Disregard what other people might think about your decisions. You’ll never make everyone else happy. If you try, you’ll soon discover that, not only will other people still be unhappy, but you’ll also be exhausted and unhappy yourself.
- Make your own decisions according to your priorities and be confident that you’ve done what is right for you.
6. Avoid worrying. Worrying will never help your situation. Rather than wasting your time by being engulfed in fear, take action to do what you can to make the situation better. If there’s nothing you can do to change it, focus on moving forward in other ways.
7. Try your best and accept that you’ve done what you could. Do your best every day and be proud of yourself for your efforts. Let go of any negative thoughts, such as being angry with yourself for not being able to accomplish an impossible feat.
- Even when you haven’t done your best, find a way to forgive yourself. Move on and commit to trying harder next time.
In changing the way you think about yourself, you’ll also change the way you see the world. Every day opens up new opportunities for you, and by utilizing positive thinking, you can make a real difference!
14 Simple Ways to Add Happiness to Your Day
I love simple things… it’s the simple things in life which can totally transform your day and turn it into one of sunshine (even if it is raining!).
Here are some easy ways to add happiness to your day:
1. Watch a movie. Grab a big bucket of popcorn and immerse yourself in your favorite movie.
2. Watch your kids or loved ones. Simply observe them and think about how much you appreciate the fact that they’re in your life.
3. Call your best friend. A phone call with a close friend is a great way to pass some time in a way that is comfortable and familiar to you. You can think about old times or enjoy planning something fun for the future.
4. Go out for ice cream. Okay, I agree, this one is a little naughty… but what the heck, you have to indulge once in a while, right?! And if you don’t like ice cream, grab your favorite treat instead.
5. Enjoy nature. Take a walk in the park and admire the different patterns and shapes on the trunks of the trees, or the flowers, or whatever catches your eye. Or what about just observing the beauty of the stars at night.
6. Take a hot bath. What a great stress buster! Light some scented candles to include the benefits of aromatherapy to the relaxing warmth of the bath.
7. Play a sport. Gather your friends and have a friendly competition. Sports are a fun way to get some exercise and relieve stress.
8. Zzzzzz. An afternoon nap may be just what you’re looking for. Even 15 minutes of shut-eye can help you feel more energized and happy.
9. Snuggle with your partner. Take the time to appreciate your partner and snuggle up for some couple-time. It’s a great way to reconnect, especially if you’ve been really busy.
10. Be lazy. Take some time to simply be lazy, with no responsibilities, and give yourself some me-time. Hmmm… how indulgent!
11. Listen to your favorite song. Crank up the tunes! And while you’re at it, why not put on your dancing shoes?! 
12. Make casual conversation. Strike up some lively conversations with strangers. If you’re friendly and happy towards them, they’ll likely be the same to you.
13. Be thankful. Reflect on all the things that you’re grateful for in your life and write them down. You might be surprised at how long your list is! Sometimes changing your focus to what’s going right in your life is all you need to turn that frown upside down.
14. Enjoy time with your pets. Pets are part of the family too. Snuggle up with your pet for some quality time together.
And don’t forget; be entirely present in the moment to feel the joy travel through your whole being.
So what simple things did I leave off this list that YOU like to do to bring happiness into your day? Share it with me below!
