A smile costs nothing but gives much. It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever. None is so rich or mighty that he cannot get along without it and none is so poor that he cannot be made rich by it. Yet a smile cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away. Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give. ~ Author Unknown

“Thanks to all the folks and animals who gift me with your smile. Your smile makes me smile” ♥  ~ Tara West

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1. 7 Ways to Accept Yourself for Who You Are

I call this my Bubbles Exercise that I recommend to coaching clients when a feeling or memory is hindering their progress.

It’s okay to feel the feelings and learn from them. But when a feeling or memory is holding us back from claiming our goals and dreams, this exercise can be helpful in letting go and moving forward.

First step is to get yourself a bubble blowing kit – the kind that kids play with You can pick these up quite cheaply and easily at your local supermarket or you can make your own.

Next, with a notebook or journal at hand, find a sacred place. This could be in your backyard, at your local park – wherever is comfortable for you and where you feel you won’t be disturbed.

When you get to your sacred place, set your intention. Setting your intention is really important to do. Ask yourself: “What feeling / memory do I want to release? What is this feeling / memory holding me back from?”

Hold those answers in your mind, and then start blowing bubbles. As your bubble forms, imagine that feeling / memory being locked inside that bubble. Your feeling / memory that is holding you back is now inside that bubble… floating away. Or perhaps the feeling / memory is locked inside the bubble and suddenly the bubble pops and your feeling / memory pops along with it.

As you see your feeling / memory float or pop away, allow yourself to let it go. Allow your body to do whatever it wants to do when the feeling / memory is popped or floats away. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to shout, shout. If you want to scream, scream. If you want to laugh, laugh. Just let the emotion out that is associated with letting go of the feeling / memory.

If you feel no release at all, close your eyes and once again set your intention. Then blow your bubbles and observe them until you feel the release.

When you have felt the release and feel that your feeling / memory has been set free, sit down and take the time to reflect and write in your notebook. Ask yourself:

“How do I feel now this feeling / memory has been released?”

“What gifts did this feeling / memory give me?”

“What did I learn from these gifts?”

“Now that the feeling / memory has been set free and is no longer holding me back, what do I want to achieve?”

“To make my goal a reality, what steps can I begin today?”

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1. Learning to Forgive Yourself
2. 7 Ways to Accept Yourself for Who You Are
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Sometimes, when a personal event has happened in my life that I haven’t been happy with – such as handling a situation in a certain way, as an example – it can sometimes get the better of me and stew in my mind. I beat myself up about it; even though, a few hours down the track, I realise I can’t change it, and I KNOW that I should just learn from it and leave it alone.

It comes back to forgiveness.  Forgiveness of myself.

Forgiving others can sometimes be easier than forgiving ‘YOU’.  When you forgive others you can find peace and move on.

But if you don’t reflect, acknowledge and forgive yourself, sometimes without even knowing it you are beating yourself up over and over again. This can be witnessed in certain actions or behaviours that could stem back to something you haven’t forgiven yourself for.  Your subconscious has been eating on it.

When you love someone, you forgive. Love starts with yourself, so are you treating yourself with the same compassion and respect? Are you allowing yourself to learn from it and move on?

Here’s a nice little exercise that I have found helpful.  Why not start today by acknowledging the feelings.

Sit in your own quiet, sacred place and say out loud “I love you dear memory”.

With no judgement, look at the feeling and see the positive side it has brought you. For every negative there is a positive – the way of life.  Perhaps that memory has made you stronger in some way, as an example.

Then love and thank the memory. Finally, release it.

You deserve your own compassion and self respect; just as you give to others and / or your loved ones. What steps are you going to take today to forgive yourself?

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Accepting yourself and your situation in life can be a difficult task. Do you tend to be more accepting of others’ mistakes than your own? If so, you’re being too hard on yourself!

Those people aren’t better than you! You were created with a unique set of talents that no one else has. Plus, everyone makes mistakes. We’re only human!

Becoming more accepting of yourself and loving yourself for the fine person that you really are can lead you to greater happiness and a more fulfilling life.

Here are some excellent techniques you can use to help you better accept yourself:

1. Focus on your positive qualities. Even though self-improvement is a good thing, it’s important that you identify and focus on your positive qualities, rather than concentrating on the qualities you feel negatively about.

• Maintaining this positive focus will not only help you better accept yourself, but it’ll also make it easier for you to attain your goals by utilizing your talents to boost yourself forward.

2. Consciously prevent negative thinking patterns. Negative thinking can really snowball fast if you don’t get ahead of it. It’s okay to be in a bad mood every once in awhile and have some negative thoughts; it happens to everyone. The trick is in learning how to push those negative thoughts aside and replace them with something positive.

• Replace your negative thoughts about yourself with affirmations. Affirmations are positive statements that affirm your positive qualities and help bring out the best in you. You can find affirmations in bookstores and on websites, or you can write your own. You can also download some positive affirmations and self-reflections on my site:
  - I Am The Body In Motion That Stays in Motion
  - Giving To Others Makes Me Rich

• If you believe in yourself, you can do it. It’s really that simple.

3. Accept your imperfections. Another part of being human is having some imperfections. Instead of dwelling on the things you can’t change, accept them for what they are. Making the best of your life starts with accepting your imperfections.

4. Use positive self-talk. Positive self-talk can help you achieve great things and change the way you think about yourself. Make it a point to give sincere compliments to yourself.

• Compliment yourself for the good things about your looks, your positive qualities, and every time you do something right. Do this each and every day until it becomes a habit.
• Recommended reading: “What To Say When You Talk To Yourself” by Shad Helmstetter:
  

5. Disregard what other people might think about your decisions. You’ll never make everyone else happy. If you try, you’ll soon discover that, not only will other people still be unhappy, but you’ll also be exhausted and unhappy yourself.

• Make your own decisions according to your priorities and be confident that you’ve done what is right for you.

6. Avoid worrying. Worrying will never help your situation. Rather than wasting your time by being engulfed in fear, take action to do what you can to make the situation better. If there’s nothing you can do to change it, focus on moving forward in other ways.

7. Try your best and accept that you’ve done what you could. Do your best every day and be proud of yourself for your efforts. Let go of any negative thoughts, such as being angry with yourself for not being able to accomplish an impossible feat.

• Even when you haven’t done your best, find a way to forgive yourself. Move on and commit to trying harder next time.

In changing the way you think about yourself, you’ll also change the way you see the world. Every day opens up new opportunities for you, and by utilizing positive thinking, you can make a real difference!

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Many years ago I was honoured to be presented with a blue ribbon that read “Who I Am Makes A Difference”.

Today, some 15 years later, that same blue ribbon has a pride of place on my office bookshelf, and, whenever I feel I am not making ENOUGH of a difference, or things aren’t moving quick enough where I don’t feel I’m able to help as many folks as I would like… all I have to do is glance over at that ribbon to know that even if I only make an impact on one life that day, who I am makes a difference.

A graphical ribbon that was sent to me via email, I never knew the story behind the ribbon. And then the other day, as I was watching a short video on Daily Success Stream, there it was! Funny how our lives can come full circle, huh?

So I was introduced to the beautiful soul of Helice ‘Sparky’ Bridges who spiralled off a whole movement and touched thousands upon thousands of lives.

I want you to know today that who you are DOES make a difference.  Please accept this blue ribbon from me. Please print, cut it out and stick it somewhere that you can see it everyday. And while you’re at it, why not print and cut out a few and pass on to people who have made a difference in YOUR life?

YOU are special! Thank you for being you.

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Sharing with you a beautiful passage from the Velveteen Rabbit. “Once you are REAL you can’t become unreal again.”

What did you think of that passage? Please share… would love to read your comments.

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The other day I received a touching email from my sister about “What love means to age 4-8 year old children”.

A group of professionals asked kids “What does love mean?” It really moved me to read some of the responses; things like:

‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore.  So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’  Rebecca – age 8

‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.  You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’ Billy – age 4

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’  Terri – age 4

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’ Bobby – age 7

‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate.’ Nikka – age 6

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’ Tommy – age 6

‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’ Cindy – age 8

‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’  Karen – age 7

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot People forget.’ Jessica – age 8

*******************

Wow, I truly marvelled at what these kids came out with.  What wisdom. What insight. What pure trust and belief in the world, themselves and what is around them!

They thought about what it meant, and then they expressed what they felt and saw from the heart.

This brings to me the thought.  What would happen if you loved like a child?

I invite you, right now, to go lie down in some grass (or somewhere else of your choosing), squelch your toes, stretch, close your eyes, and deeply inhale that question.

Truly envision that question enveloping your whole being. Then let your definition float away, open your arms wide to your sides, and allow the peace and wisdom you have discovered to wash over you.

What does your future life look like when you surrender to the love of life, as envisioned by your inner child?

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My earliest memory of Nanna is sitting on her lounge room floor eating dinner and being told to eat my brussel sprouts – which I hated!

When Nanna was diagnosed with kidney failure it uprooted the whole family as we lived almost 500kms away from our capital city, Adelaide. Nanna was given kidney transplants that were unsuccessful and she was put on a kidney dialysis machine, where she ultimately spent the next 12 years of her life.

Ten years after her diagnosis, my Pa left Nanna and, unable to cope on her own, and given that nurses and dialysis machines were now available in people’s homes in my country town, my Nanna returned to be with her family.

When she returned, I was shocked at how frail and insecure Nanna looked so I would regularly visit her whilst she was on the machine to try and distract her; but her eyes would always wander toward the clock, anxious for it to be over.

One night, we were companionably watching some television when we heard an extract from The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams. Nanna sat straight in her chair and, with tears in her eyes, said ‘What a lovely poem’. It was my favourite piece and we discussed its meaning in detail.

After that, we would often sit peacefully, with the only movement being Nanna’s foot making a little dance.

When Nanna’s heart stopped without warning, the nurse revived her and she was flown to Adelaide to recover. When she returned, a piece of her had died. Her will to live had gone and two weeks later she died, peacefully, while sleeping in her favourite chair.

Reflecting on her life, and remembering her checking the clock whilst on that machine, I realised not once did I ever hear her complain. Her gift to me was her strength and love for her family, which I will always hold onto.

Today, when I’m staring at that same clock and reading ‘our’ favourite piece, I can only laugh when I see my foot dancing in time to Nanna’s in heaven.

an excerpt from THE VELVETEEN RABBIT
by Margery Williams

Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”
“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

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