What I Learned From My 3 Year Old Tomato Sauce
Mr Moo, my dog, gets very excited when I start rummaging around in the pantry or the fridge. He sees me lifting things up, checking the use by date, and it either gets put back or goes in the pile – his pile. It’s written all over his face and I can well imagine what he is thinking: “Oh yeah, I’m in for a treat tomorrow!”
I’m a bit fussy when it comes to use by or best before dates. Even though the logical side of my brain tells me quite loudly that manufacturers put in a buffer and one simply wouldn’t get food poisoning after consuming it a few days past the date. I’m also a plain eater. It’s rare for me to have sauces etc plastered over my food.
So it was with some surprise last night that I cooked my dinner and had a strong yearning for tomato sauce. Out came the bottle and I happily started spraying the stuff all over my food. I ended up having some dinner with my tomato sauce; not some tomato sauce with my dinner! And it was delicious!
After finishing my meal, I sat there thinking how nice it was and I should have tomato sauce more often! The bottle is sitting right in front of me, so I pick it up, flick it over and suddenly the best before date jumped right off the bottle. Oh no. 11th January 2009. I’m thinking, “This must be some kind of mistake!” All that tomato sauce has gone to my head and I’m on a high… I’m hallucinating!
But nope. My tomato sauce was almost 3 years past its best before date! Yikes! How did that get past my inspections? My inspections I have been carrying out since… well, forever. I’ve missed this bottle for 3 years?! How can that be?
Before I knew it, I felt sick. Never mind that 5 seconds ago I was thinking it was the best darn meal I’d had all week. Never mind that when I was eating I was thinking it was the best darn tomato sauce I’d ever had. No. Forget all that. I’ve just eaten 3 year old tomato sauce for crying out loud!!!
I rush to the bin to destroy the evidence; throwing the bottle away will hopefully make me feel better. I hurriedly put the dishes in the dishwasher so I don’t have to look at the red stuff that is left on my plate. None of this works. My dinner feels heavy in my tummy and I can taste the awful sauce (yes, I know, it was beautiful not long ago). So I scoff down some liquorice to get rid of the taste. That worked.
I sit down and am sure my stomach is going to rebel any time soon! Then I couldn’t help but laugh. What a lot of nonsense! The tomato sauce didn’t taste any different – in fact, it was normal. It tasted wonderful. So the slight sick feeling in my tummy and the bad taste in my mouth was all mind over matter! So I just imagined in my mind that the bottle really said 2012 not 2009. And voila! I felt fine.
So I started thinking about that bottle. Why had I missed it all this time? And why did the date reveal itself to me that day?
Maybe my spirit guides kept me from discovering the bottle and waited for a time when they knew I would benefit from my experience and the lesson it provided. After some reflections, I realised that I am procrastinating with something in my life and, after thinking about the tomato sauce, I came to a decision that it was a ‘mind over matter’ thing and I just need to get on with it!!!
Maybe my spirit guides nudged me into having the tomato sauce so I could also share my experience and thoughts with others because someone, somewhere, would relate to the lesson and get value from it at a time when they needed it.
The tomato sauce gave me a valuable reminder that life can be a bit like my experience with that sauce – where I felt mildly ill when, in fact, I was fine. Sometimes we have feelings or thoughts that are, quite simply, mind over matter. Our brain is so powerful and if we allow it, it can give us an illusion or perception of things that aren’t necessarily true.
This is when it can be valuable to put on the brakes and ask:
- “Is this a mind over matter moment?”
- “What is real and what is perceived?”
- “What would happen if I totally flipped my thought or feeling of _________ and took it in the opposite direction?”
- “How do I now feel?”
Even the simplest and seemingly unrelated events that happen in our life are presented to us for a reason and a lesson to learn.
I’m grateful to my tomato sauce 
Are You Being Choked By Weeds?
I discovered the other day that the little patch of plants I was so lovingly caring for were, in fact, weeds! I had planted some cabbage seeds and mistakenly thought they were my little cabbages until the weeds got bigger and I realised my mistake Being a novice gardener, I am learning all the time!
My mistake then had me thinking about my own life and what ‘weeds’ I am cultivating.
Some of the weeds in our life can grow rampant and totally overtake all the sweet, good things; whilst others may pop up here and there and make a slower transition into a fully grown weed.
Sometimes, we may not realise we are cultivating our weeds as weeds can look like something else entirely – just like my cabbage patch. It’s not until they start to grow and choke the good things that we recognise the damage that the weed is doing. And by then, it takes more effort to get the weeds under control. If they are a very bad pest, it can take a longer time to totally eradicate the weed.
Are your sweet, good things in life being choked by weeds?
You may realise you have a weed when you feel discontent, or unhappiness or unease in your life. Here’s how to discover your weeds and eradicate them (I recommend you download and print out the worksheet at the end of the list to help you further):
- Pinpoint an area in your life where you feel that something isn’t right… be specific. For example, if you are unhappy in your job or business, don’t write that down. Delve deeper to identify what specifically you are unhappy about. If you leave it too vague you won’t be able to find the weed.
- Once you have identified the source of your unhappiness, or discontent or unease, spend some time reflecting on when you began to feel that way so you can associate the timeline with a decision you may have made at that point in time.
- Next step is to identify the decision you made that led you to the path you are now on – the path that seems to have a few weeds in the cracks. Sometimes, we make decisions with very good intentions, and that may serve us very well at that point in time. But as you know, we don’t stand still; therefore, a decision you made some time ago may no longer be serving you.
- Spend some time reflecting on the decision you made and why it no longer serves you. What is different NOW? Are you the same person you were when you made the decision?
- Determine where the weeds are growing. From the timeline that you recognised in Step 2 to the point where you are now at in your life, what have you been doing to cultivate your weeds? Remember, weeds can sometimes be disguised as pretty flowers… we may initially think they are okay, so we pour a lot of water on them and fertilise and nurture them, then suddenly, BAM! They’re massive and we realise the pretty flower was a pest that is now encroaching on the values we hold dear in our life. (To determine your values, please click here.)
- Next, determine what steps you can take to remove the weed (or weeds) from your life. Take the approach you feel is necessary for your particular circumstance. For instance, a weed that is the source of your unhappiness, or discontent or unease may be one that you can immediately pour some weed killer on and quickly eradicate it from your beautiful garden (which is your life, your mind, your wellbeing). As an example, this may be an activity you are doing which you can quickly stop all together without any other ramifications to your life. On the other hand, another type of weed may be growing right next to something you value very deeply – if you were to pour weed killer it may very well kill off whatever is sitting next to it. So it requires you to spend more time in manually digging out each weed, taking care to preserve the other things next to the weed. The weed pulling exercise may take many forms – including (but not limited to) meditation, reflections, journaling, personal development, mentoring, and coaching; it’s important you find the forms that work best for you.
- Lastly, celebrate your courage and commitment in completing Steps 1 to 6. Take time to thank your higher self for supporting you on your weeding journey and reflect on the gifts that the weeds actually gave you.
Download the Weeding Worksheet. I suggest you use the worksheet following the steps above and use a new worksheet for every weed that you want to eradicate.
Happy weeding
What If?
If you’ve ever made a major decision in your life that alters the path you’re currently travelling on, you’ve no doubt encountered that little voice inside your head that whispers ‘What If…’ or ‘What would happen if…”
9 times out of 10, the little ‘what if’ has some scary story to tell you or some other negative message. The voice doesn’t care that you’ve made up your mind. Until ACTION is taken on your decision, it’s going to sit there and annoy the hell out of you until it has you in a spin and questioning the original decision you made in the first place!
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, it DOES happen to all of us… even if you’re a positive-minded person.
So what can you do about it?
Firstly, I don’t believe you should be ignoring the little ‘what if’ scenarios that are whispered to you. They pop up for a reason and if they’re being whispered into your conscious mind
then they are most definitely working in the background in your subconscious mind.
Ignoring the ‘what if’ whispers, or indeed, allowing them to run amok in your mind without addressing them, is giving cause for your subconscious to continue to feed on the negative scenarios, without you even really knowing about it. Until you wake up one morning – before you have taken action on your decision – and emphatically declare that your original decision was a stupid idea and you’re just going to keep on moseying along just like you are, thank you very much! Or, you take action, but you haven’t entered into the action with gusto because there is some part of you that doesn’t believe.
Our minds are very powerful and your brain has no idea what is truth and what is fiction. Or what is grounded and what is outlandish. I’ve demonstrated this in my article ‘Your Brain
Believes What You Feed It’ which you can read here.
If you’ve made a clear decision to take action and you’re experiencing distracting ‘what if’ scenarios, here’s what you can do:
1) Keep a notebook or journal by your side at all times. Divide the page into two columns.
2) Observe your inner voice and the ‘what if’ scenarios that are coming to your mind.
3) Don’t ignore the ‘what if’ and give your subconscious mind an opportunity to feed on it and blow it all out of proportion. Instead, open your notebook and in the first column write
down your ‘what if’ (or ‘what would happen if…’).
Sometimes, when we write down our ‘what if’ scenario, it doesn’t look as big as we first imagined it in our mind.
4) After you have written down the ‘what if’ scenario, on the opposite side in the next column, imagine the opposite of what you have written down.
To give you an example…
If your ‘what if’ went something like: “What if they hate my speech? I’ll have ruined my chances and I won’t EVER get asked again!”
On the opposite side, you may write something like: “What will happen when they love my speech? Oh my goodness! I’m going to be inundated with new business requests!”
5) Once you’ve written down the opposite of your ‘what if’ scenario, spend a minute or so in jotting down the RESULTS of that thought. Don’t over think it – this should be a fun
exercise… jot down what quickly comes to your mind without wondering about the ‘how’ or whether it’s even a real possibility.
So with the example above, it may look something like this:
“What will happen when they love my speech? Oh my goodness! I’m going to be inundated with new business requests!”
- Increase my business by 12%, each month.
- Gain 10 new contacts each month.
- Secure 2 new referrals each month.
- Get recognised for my expertise; XYZ newspaper has written a profile about me in the Social Pages.
And so on… you get the picture
6) Once you’ve written down your RESULTS, cross out the negative ‘what if’ scenario in the first column. Just put a bold line through the whole thought. You can even take it one step
further and do what I do… I cross it out, then in capital letters I write things like: ‘What a silly idea!’ or ‘You are the weakest link – Goodbye!’ Sounds nuts, I know… but you’ll
be surprised how wonderful it feels – quite liberating really!
By following the steps above, you’ve successfully turned around a negative ‘what if’ scenario and fed your mind with something positive. Writing it down and imagining the key results
works wonders.
To entrench the new positive in your mind and totally eliminate the negative ‘what if’ scenario, consider practising visualisations with the results you recorded in your notebook. Put on
some relaxing or light meditative music and take the time to sit quietly for 30 minutes and transport yourself to that new, positive scene. Play it out in your mind and really feel it,
see it, hear it, smell it, touch it.
“The secret of making something work in your lives is first of all, the deep desire to make it work: then the faith and belief that it can work: then to hold that clear definite vision in your consciousness and see it working out step by step, without one thought of doubt or disbelief.” ~ Eileen Caddy
Remove Pesky Blocks & Unleash The Hero Within!
We all have them.
Those little saboteurs that sit on our shoulder and whisper into our ear. I’m sure you know what I mean.
It usually happens when you’ve got an idea to do something that is out of the norm – out of your comfort zone – then suddenly, wham! There it appears… like a ghost from the dark of night. Invisible, but there all the same.
Suddenly, your idea that seemed so fabulous two seconds ago has suddenly taken on a dark, odd shape and you are suddenly convinced that no matter what, you are doomed to failure – never mind that your idea two seconds ago was so full of promise.
That little pesky guy sitting on your shoulder is whispering into your ear; telling you all these stories… most of them starting with ‘what if’ that then expand into 300-page novels that would put JK Rowling to shame! In fact, they are such wonderful ‘words’ of art that you start to believe everything the little guy is saying to you.
The truth is, the pesky guy sitting on your shoulder is scared. They’re wondering what’s going to happen if suddenly you have a new life. They like sitting on your shoulder exactly the way it is, so they don’t want you to change and they want to hold you back. They will go kicking and screaming to the bitter end until, finally, you give the pesky guy the flick once and for all.
Harbouring a safe haven for the pesky guy on your shoulder isn’t something unique. You are not alone. If you search for it, you will find that many people throughout history have also faced a pesky guy on their shoulder.
So how do you remove the pesky guy to unleash your hero within?
There are many facets to that question… each person is unique with differing talents, ambitions, and backgrounds. One answer does not fit all.
I have provided some tools I use with my clients in my coaching practice that you may find of benefit in discovering self-limiting beliefs.
Take time to reflect upon them, and be prepared to do some homework and partner with someone you trust to discuss what you find – in an objective, unbiased manner.
Great things do not happen within oneself by reflection alone. Great things do not happen alone.
When making changes and stepping out on a new journey, it is vital you have a cheering squad, an accountability partner, and a truth maker to assist you.
And remember to enjoy the journey.
“No one remains quite what he was when he recognises himself.” ~ Thomas Mann
Wishing you a fabulous journey! And let me know what you think of the tools and how they have assisted you – I would love to know!
Best wishes,
STOP Sabotaging Yourself!
Every day you allow your subconscious mind to take over every action and decision that you make. This impacts on the steps you take to move forward in your life, the dreams and goals you set for yourself, and the overall wellbeing of your present state.
By listening to the little saboteur – whose job, incidentally, is to stop you from moving forward – or listening to ingrained messages that are either negative or do not stimulate you to look for answers and solutions, you have allowed yourself to remain in a comfort zone… that muscle in your brain is getting no exercise.
Which is a real shame, as you CAN go farther than you’ve ever imagined. Because you DO have all the answers within you, you DO have all the solutions, and you CAN step out confidently with passion and purpose to gain anything you desire in life. Provided you give yourself permission to do so first, have belief that you can attain your goals, and train your mind to seek out the answers you need.
You are more intelligent than you give yourself credit for. Your mind loves to come up with solutions to your problems or needs, if you give it the permission to do so. By changing your thought patterns and the questions you ask of yourself, you give your mind an opportunity to play a game, to challenge itself, to kick into gear and provide you with insights and inspiration that can take you to the next level.
Here are 3 power questions to some common challenges or obstacles that will help you move forward in life:
1) “How Can I Afford It?” replaces “I can’t afford it”. By saying “I can’t afford it” you are insulting your own intelligence and training your mind to shut off any possibilities. “I can’t afford it” is a closed statement and you are, in effect, telling your brain to be quiet and shut up.
- Statement of Proof: Try this exercise. Hold in your mind a powerful image of something you would love to own or do that involves spending a lot of money you don’t currently have. Perhaps you would like to take an exotic holiday, drive a Porsche, start a business, buy a house. Whatever it is that is close to your heart, close your eyes and then see it in your mind. Whilst looking at that picture in your mind, say to yourself out loud “I can’t afford it”. What happens? How did you feel? Take note of your feelings and how your brain actually felt. Close your eyes and again see the image clearly in your mind. Say out loud “How can I afford it?”. What happens this time? How did you feel? What happened to your mind? Did you feel it jump up and down with excitement that it was allowed to race into gear to find out how you COULD afford it?
2) “If I could do it over again, what would I do differently?” replaces the statement: “I’m always doing things the wrong way”. I challenge you to remove the words “always” and “never” when talking about yourself – in particular, when you’re beating yourself up! Do you really believe that you never learn anything? Of course not! So how can you always be doing things the wrong way? Next time you hear yourself saying something like “I’m always doing things the wrong way” or “I never do anything right” or similar, stop and ask yourself “If I could do it over again, what would I do differently?” Let your mind objectively look at what you did and come up with solutions that will better equip you for next time.
3) “What’s the worst that could happen?” replaces “I’m frightened / scared I won’t be able to do it”. Sometimes our little saboteur likes to chime in and stop you from moving forward.
- Statement of Proof: Try this exercise. Hold in your mind a big dream or goal you have always wanted to accomplish but have been too scared to start. It may be a new job, trying something new in your business, commencing study, or relocating to the other side of the country. Whatever it is that you would love to do but have always held back, close your eyes and see that dream or goal in your mind. Let’s face it, if you haven’t taken steps toward that dream or goal, your little saboteur has been saying something like “I’m frightened I can’t do it” or “I’m not good enough to do that” or “I will fail”. Say out loud “I’m frightened I can’t do it” or something similar that has meaning to you. What happens? How did you feel? It’s not a nice feeling is it. Close your eyes and again see the dream or goal clearly in your mind. Say out loud “What’s the worst that could happen?”. What happens this time? How did you feel? Did your mind exult at being let out to play? Did you imagine a few scenarios? Were those scenarios small, big or huge issues? Are they really as big or huge as you think they are? If so, what steps can you take to make them smaller?
Can you start to see the shift when you ask your mind some powerful questions? Observe your speech and thoughts over the next few days and start replacing de-motivating words and statements with power questions.
If you catch yourself saying the same or similar things, write down a power question and stick it in a prominent place where you can see it everyday as a reminder – this could be on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, or in your wallet. When you hear yourself saying something negative, read the power question and see how it unlocks your mind for real, tangible transformation.
“First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” ~ Napoleon Hill
What power questions do you like to use? What kicks your brain into gear? Please share in the comment box below as YOUR power question may help someone else
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